


let me know what piece i've lost

by mischief7manager



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7816672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief7manager/pseuds/mischief7manager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pike is in the temple of Pelor when they get back. They’d made mention of going to Draconia, and she’d wanted to go with them, but there’d been so much to do after yesterday, she hadn’t wanted to abandon her work, or her patients.</p>
<p>Looking at her family’s faces as they approach, she thinks she might have made the wrong decision."</p>
<p>Pike learns about what happened in Draconia. Spoilers for episode 64.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me know what piece i've lost

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly just written as catharsis for me, but I wanted to expand what I'd initially put on tumblr.
> 
> Again, MASSIVE spoilers for episode 64. Title from "Welcome Home" by Radical Face.

Pike is in the temple of Pelor when they get back. She’s spent a lot of time there while her friends have been gone. It’s not a temple to Sarenrae, not the same as Vasselheim or Greyskull Keep, but the solemn divinity of the place is comfortingly familiar. She’s been helping Keeper Yennen rebuild, supervising the reconstruction and assisting with healings as they need her.

She’s just finishing healing another townsperson (broken arm, fall from a tree) when Vox Machina comes back. They’d made mention of going to Draconia, and she’d wanted to go with them, but there’d been so much to do after the flyby yesterday, she hadn’t wanted to abandon her work, or her patients.

Looking at her family’s faces as they approach, she thinks she might have made the wrong decision.

“What happened?” Pike asks. They don’t answer. Grog doesn’t even stop, just walks right up to her and scoops her up into his arms, burying his face against the top of her head. She pats his chest, the only part of him easily within her reach, and twists in his embrace to face the rest of the group. “Guys?”

And still no response. She recognizes these expressions, she thinks. They’d worn them the day they came to Whitestone after their time in the sunken tomb. After Vex… But there’d been some light, then. It had been awful, but they’d been alright, because Vex was alright. 

Something cold latches onto the center of her chest. “Guys, you’re scaring me.”

Vex is the first to speak. “We went to Draconia.” Her voice is cracked and rough, and Pike can see tearstains on her face. “We…” She swallows. She isn’t looking at Pike. “We wanted to… To find the dragon’s lair, to find information, allies…” She breaks off, ducking her head. Vax reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder.

Pike nods. “Did you? Did you find what you were looking for?”

“We found Tiberius.” 

That’s Percy, and Pike turns to find him looking right at her. His face is cold and blank, a stark contrast to the naked emotion rolling off the others. The coldness in her chest solidifies. “Tiberius? I don’t understand.” She pulls back to look at Grog, but he avoids meeting her eyes. She turns back to Percy. “I don’t understand. Is he alright?”

Percy shakes his head, once, sharp. “No. He’s dead.”

Pike stares at him. “What?”

Percy looks away. “We found him in the dragon’s lair. He died defending his homeland, and.” His fists clench, the first sign of any feeling. “And the dragon left him there.”

“We buried him.” Vax, now, and he looks like he’s aged a hundred years in a day, almost leaning on his sister. “We…” He swallows hard. “We took him to the library. What was left of it. And we buried him.”

Pike looks from face to face. Percy, a blank mask. Vax, buried under the weight of his grief. Vex, holding her head up as fresh tears stream down her face. Keyleth, curled in on herself. Scanlan, no humor in his eyes.

She looks up at her best friend. “Grog?”

Grog finally looks at her, and she can see tears welling in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pike,” he says, his voice rumbling through his chest, low and mournful. “I’m so sorry.”

And Pike bursts into tears. Grog pulls her tighter to him, cradling her as she weeps. He sinks to the ground, still holding her, and settles to sit on his knees. Dimly, Pike hears their friends gather around, feels a hand brush over her back. "I should've been there," she says between sobs, "I should've- I could've-"

"Pike..." Keyleth's voice is close, and Pike realizes it's her hand rubbing soothing circles between her shoulderblades. "He was-" Keyleth's voice catches, and when she speaks again, it's thick with tears. "He'd been gone a long time. There was nothing you could've done."

Pike shakes her head. "I could've at least- I could've made it so we could talk to him one last-" Another sob wracks her body, and Grog's arms tighten around her. "So we could've said goodbye."

"It wouldn't have been him." She looks up at Scanlan's words. He's standing next to Grog, his usual cheery demeanor subdued and quiet. "Not really. That's not how the spell works, you know that. Whatever made him- The part of him that made him who he was, it's already gone."

"He's moved on." Vax, now, still leaning on his sister. "The Raven Queen, she... His spirit is at peace."

Pike takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Good," she says, lets her head come to rest against Grog's collarbone. "Good."

They stay there for several minutes. Her in Grog's arms, Keyleth's hand on her back. Pike is the center around which they all gather, for these few moments, to be together, and to mourn. 

Eventually, Pike's tears run dry, as all tears must. She sits up, stepping out of Grog's hold to stand on her own two feet. "Well," she says with a trembling smile, looking to each member of her family. "I don't know about you all, but I could use a drink."

That gets some chuckles, weak and shaky as they are. They set off in the direction of the tavern, moving in silence, no one feeling the need to disturb the quiet. Fresh tears slide down Pike's cheek as they go, but she makes no effort to brush them away, even as their group draws concerned looks from the townspeople they pass.

Pike doesn't care. They'll find a tavern, and they'll drink, and they'll mourn, and maybe, by the end of the night, they'll be able to smile a little and talk about the good parts of their time with Tiberius. They will heal, and Pike will help them, as she always has and always will. 

But here, now. Adrift in a sea of sorrow and regret and self-doubt, Pike allows herself a moment to not be a healer. To not be the person who takes care of the rest.

Here, now, Pike allows herself a moment to do nothing but grieve. 


End file.
